| Welcome Home My Florida! |
| New Beginnings! |
| This month I'm jumping into some 'issues' that have been brought to my attention as being topics readers want to know more about. For example, how to take care of a loved one who's dieing... How to respond to those silly notes we all get in emails that are not Biblically sound... How to develop great relationships with other women and more. Do you have a topic you'd like us to research? Let us know! |
| January's Tea Time Talk |
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| JANUARY 2008 |
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Last month I wrote briefly about how difficult it is to connect into the ‘circle’ of friends when you’re new to an area.
Well, it opened a certain amount of discussion with others and I thought it would be a great idea to look further into
how to connect.
One of the things I do to promote this site and to meet new people is to network with others on the internet via
forums. I’m usually found looking into groups who are tasteful in their approach, where members are encouraged to
‘be nice’… you know… where profanity and the vileness of the world is kept at bay… This in itself limits me to
where I post. However, I’ve found a few that I fit right in. The majority of them are for women… moms… and girlfriends and one of the things I’ve noticed is
that the ‘connection’ still isn't’t there. Its one thing to have a bit of open discussions via the net, but another thing entirely to actually meet someone to
encourage a friendship, or to begin to bond with another.
A new girlfriend told me that she prayed for God to bring her a Christian friend… Poof! I showed up and she’s been trying to get
rid of me ever since! Ok… not really… She and I have become very close and it’s so nice to have someone you can confide in.
She was in the same boat as many of us, and was so tired of the superficial friendships that were in her life. No one
that she had met over the years was the type of friend who would drop anything they were doing to listen… or to help or to
simply be there for her.
What’s the key element preventing us from connecting? Time. We don’t have the time to stop in for coffee any more. Between
working, being mommy, housekeeping and such, we have run out of time to connect with people and I think that’s a sin! Trust
me when I say I’m just as guilty of it as anyone, but I really want to connect with other women. We need each other!
What's one of my new goals for the year? It is to be aware that I must spend quality time with my girlfriends that I currently have
in my life and those who I meet this year! I’ll add that I want to make it a point to meet one new woman every month to build my
own circle of friends so I’m not found a year from now whining that I don’t have anyone to talk to! I’m also going to spend more
time talking with my friends verses emailing my friends. Have you noticed how much easier it is to email someone than to call
them on the phone? I’ve developed a very bad habit of this and that’s another thing that’s just got to go in my life… or at the very
least curtailed. Emails are fine and dandy, but if it’s the only form of communication you have with another, there’s something
missing!
Are you with me on this? Go meet another woman today, this week or this month! Make meeting new friends a goal for the
new year and tell me about it! We’ll all compare notes and see where we end up a year from now!
Well, it opened a certain amount of discussion with others and I thought it would be a great idea to look further into
how to connect.
One of the things I do to promote this site and to meet new people is to network with others on the internet via
forums. I’m usually found looking into groups who are tasteful in their approach, where members are encouraged to
‘be nice’… you know… where profanity and the vileness of the world is kept at bay… This in itself limits me to
where I post. However, I’ve found a few that I fit right in. The majority of them are for women… moms… and girlfriends and one of the things I’ve noticed is
that the ‘connection’ still isn't’t there. Its one thing to have a bit of open discussions via the net, but another thing entirely to actually meet someone to
encourage a friendship, or to begin to bond with another.
A new girlfriend told me that she prayed for God to bring her a Christian friend… Poof! I showed up and she’s been trying to get
rid of me ever since! Ok… not really… She and I have become very close and it’s so nice to have someone you can confide in.
She was in the same boat as many of us, and was so tired of the superficial friendships that were in her life. No one
that she had met over the years was the type of friend who would drop anything they were doing to listen… or to help or to
simply be there for her.
What’s the key element preventing us from connecting? Time. We don’t have the time to stop in for coffee any more. Between
working, being mommy, housekeeping and such, we have run out of time to connect with people and I think that’s a sin! Trust
me when I say I’m just as guilty of it as anyone, but I really want to connect with other women. We need each other!
What's one of my new goals for the year? It is to be aware that I must spend quality time with my girlfriends that I currently have
in my life and those who I meet this year! I’ll add that I want to make it a point to meet one new woman every month to build my
own circle of friends so I’m not found a year from now whining that I don’t have anyone to talk to! I’m also going to spend more
time talking with my friends verses emailing my friends. Have you noticed how much easier it is to email someone than to call
them on the phone? I’ve developed a very bad habit of this and that’s another thing that’s just got to go in my life… or at the very
least curtailed. Emails are fine and dandy, but if it’s the only form of communication you have with another, there’s something
missing!
Are you with me on this? Go meet another woman today, this week or this month! Make meeting new friends a goal for the
new year and tell me about it! We’ll all compare notes and see where we end up a year from now!
GIRLFRIENDS Part II
The following is part one; 8 ways to bring comfort and hope to your dying loved one. At the end of
this excerpt, you can click on the link provided to read the complete story.
this excerpt, you can click on the link provided to read the complete story.
A Time to Die
8 ways to bring comfort and hope to your dying loved one.
Esther Byle Bruland
My husband, son, and I had just enjoyed an afternoon at a beautiful Cape Cod beach, letting the waves
wash away our sadness after the recent death of my father-in-law. My mother-in-law had died suddenly a
year before, and we were still trying to orient ourselves to their absence.
When I put in a call to my widowed 89-year-old father back home in Michigan to share with him the beauty
of our day, his phone rang and rang. So I contacted my sister. "Dad's in the hospital," she said. And so
began another good-bye.
Diagnosed with a fast-acting terminal cancer, my father told me, "I'm tired of this country," early in his
decline. Further along, he asked, "Why is it taking so long?" His lifelong faith in Jesus as Savior had
blossomed into a full-blown longing to join Jesus in heaven. He was ready to go.
I struggled with mixed emotions. While our family accepted Dad's decision to forego treatment, we had to
ready ourselves for the ordeal of death.
Feeling dazed, I sought peace through prayer. "Lord, I don't want to let my father go," I lamented. "But I
know he's ready, so I release him to you. Show me how to help him through this, even though it pains
me."
I pondered the strange mix of pain and hope dying in Christ brings. It reminded me of childbirth. Both
involve an ordeal of unknown duration—yet in both, the ordeal is limited because of the joy of new life at
the end. There was my key to helping my dad. I could look at dying in a new way—as labor and delivery
into eternal life!
I'd read about women called "doulas" who specialize in helping birthing mothers through labor. Their
supportive presence makes the pain of childbirth more bearable. They gave me my model: I'd become a
doula for my dad. I'd see to his comfort and encourage him through his dying labor. Then, through my
tears of grief, I'd celebrate his delivery into eternal life.
A doula knows it's not her body at the center of the action. A doula for the dying quickly learns to accept the
same limits. Much as we might want to assume our loved one's pain, we remain on the sidelines. But we
can accomplish some tasks specifically related to dying.
1. GIVE ENCOURAGEMENT.
We focus so much on his physical comfort; how often do we bolster a dying person's morale as he
wearily presses toward the finish line?
According to the American College of Physicians Complete Home Medical Guide (available at www.
acponline.org), "One of the most important things you can do to help the person you're caring for is to
have a positive attitude. … [They] need encouragement, and they need help noticing the good things that
are happening around them. At the same time, it's important to be realistic about the seriousness of their
problems. These patients must not feel that their problems are being ignored or belittled."
Several months after my father's death, my sister-in-law, Joan, lay dying from complications of diabetes.
At her hospital bed, while she was still conscious but impaired by the effects of a stroke, I told her how
much her sweet attitude and patience through her struggle had touched me. Joan raised her bandaged
hand to point toward heaven and declared firmly, "It's him! His grace is sufficient for me!" She hadn't been
able to process many lucid thoughts that day, but encouragement in the midst of her suffering released
this powerful testimony from her lips.
Giving encouragement may not always have such a dramatic result, but I've seen enough to know giving it
really matters.
Click HERE to read more
8 ways to bring comfort and hope to your dying loved one.
Esther Byle Bruland
My husband, son, and I had just enjoyed an afternoon at a beautiful Cape Cod beach, letting the waves
wash away our sadness after the recent death of my father-in-law. My mother-in-law had died suddenly a
year before, and we were still trying to orient ourselves to their absence.
When I put in a call to my widowed 89-year-old father back home in Michigan to share with him the beauty
of our day, his phone rang and rang. So I contacted my sister. "Dad's in the hospital," she said. And so
began another good-bye.
Diagnosed with a fast-acting terminal cancer, my father told me, "I'm tired of this country," early in his
decline. Further along, he asked, "Why is it taking so long?" His lifelong faith in Jesus as Savior had
blossomed into a full-blown longing to join Jesus in heaven. He was ready to go.
I struggled with mixed emotions. While our family accepted Dad's decision to forego treatment, we had to
ready ourselves for the ordeal of death.
Feeling dazed, I sought peace through prayer. "Lord, I don't want to let my father go," I lamented. "But I
know he's ready, so I release him to you. Show me how to help him through this, even though it pains
me."
I pondered the strange mix of pain and hope dying in Christ brings. It reminded me of childbirth. Both
involve an ordeal of unknown duration—yet in both, the ordeal is limited because of the joy of new life at
the end. There was my key to helping my dad. I could look at dying in a new way—as labor and delivery
into eternal life!
I'd read about women called "doulas" who specialize in helping birthing mothers through labor. Their
supportive presence makes the pain of childbirth more bearable. They gave me my model: I'd become a
doula for my dad. I'd see to his comfort and encourage him through his dying labor. Then, through my
tears of grief, I'd celebrate his delivery into eternal life.
A doula knows it's not her body at the center of the action. A doula for the dying quickly learns to accept the
same limits. Much as we might want to assume our loved one's pain, we remain on the sidelines. But we
can accomplish some tasks specifically related to dying.
1. GIVE ENCOURAGEMENT.
We focus so much on his physical comfort; how often do we bolster a dying person's morale as he
wearily presses toward the finish line?
According to the American College of Physicians Complete Home Medical Guide (available at www.
acponline.org), "One of the most important things you can do to help the person you're caring for is to
have a positive attitude. … [They] need encouragement, and they need help noticing the good things that
are happening around them. At the same time, it's important to be realistic about the seriousness of their
problems. These patients must not feel that their problems are being ignored or belittled."
Several months after my father's death, my sister-in-law, Joan, lay dying from complications of diabetes.
At her hospital bed, while she was still conscious but impaired by the effects of a stroke, I told her how
much her sweet attitude and patience through her struggle had touched me. Joan raised her bandaged
hand to point toward heaven and declared firmly, "It's him! His grace is sufficient for me!" She hadn't been
able to process many lucid thoughts that day, but encouragement in the midst of her suffering released
this powerful testimony from her lips.
Giving encouragement may not always have such a dramatic result, but I've seen enough to know giving it
really matters.
Click HERE to read more
Christian Women Today has a great article on getting rid of 'stuff' you have in your
home that you haven't seen in a decade. I am going through all my 'stuff' and it's a
freeing thing to see it go! I've never had so much space in a home as I do now and
I'm not done! Garage sale it goes!
TRUE GREATNESS... "You’re going to spend at least 18 years raising each one of
your kids. Before they finally slip over the horizon for good, you’re going to lose a lot
of sleep, spend a couple of truck loads of money, put some serious
wear and tear on your body, and shed a puddle or two of tears. What do
you hope happens? What do you want to see as the results of all of your
efforts?"
home that you haven't seen in a decade. I am going through all my 'stuff' and it's a
freeing thing to see it go! I've never had so much space in a home as I do now and
I'm not done! Garage sale it goes!
TRUE GREATNESS... "You’re going to spend at least 18 years raising each one of
your kids. Before they finally slip over the horizon for good, you’re going to lose a lot
of sleep, spend a couple of truck loads of money, put some serious
wear and tear on your body, and shed a puddle or two of tears. What do
you hope happens? What do you want to see as the results of all of your
efforts?"
Top 10 Things Only Women Understand
10. Cats' facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
7. Fat clothes
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow
3. Eyelash curlers
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made
AND, the Number One thing only women understand:
1. OTHER WOMEN
10. Cats' facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
7. Fat clothes
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow
3. Eyelash curlers
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made
AND, the Number One thing only women understand:
1. OTHER WOMEN
